Today we have a very special guest on the She Dreams All Day Podcast; my wonderful past client, Melissa Blakey!
Melissa is a Soul Purpose coach who helps high-achieving women who are stuck in a rut, through mindset shifts, manifestation and a little dash of woo woo.
The things Melissa shares in this podcast as so easily implementable, and you will be able to take action on some of her points straight away.
So if you’re in a bit of a rut, stuck in a negative headspace, or want some advice about living more authentically you, this episode is for you.
Who is Melissa?
I have a background in retail and management, and I’ve always had a passion for helping and developing others.
Back in 2020, I got my masters in Learning and Development and planned to get out of my previous job to work for a company developing people.
And then 2020 hit!
Everything shifted. I was in a rut at work, there was a lot of toxic energy, relationships were changing and a lot of things in my life didn’t align with who I was.
I questioned everything; like what I was doing and what my life’s purpose was.
So I implemented three things.
Mindfulness, gratitude and routine.
Once I realised I was on a journey and needed to let the timeline I had in my head go, things started to open up for me.
For example, I started my blog and coaching with you (Mia!).
WHY DID YOU START A BLOG?
The reason for starting my blog was that I had so much to say. I had to get it out there, even if no one was going to read it.
I had no idea what I even needed to do until I worked out who my ideal client would be. Who I was truly speaking to.
Then after the blog, I realised I wanted to do coaching.
I’ve been coaching ever since and shifting into a different niche and avenue.
That’s what led me to be a spiritual coach, helping people find their purpose.
My job is to help women shift their perspective from a ‘do do do’ attitude to get back to the person they’re supposed to be.
One of the good things to come out of 2020 was people were forced to think about different ways of doing things.
We questioned things we’ve done in the past.
We asked whether things were making us happy anymore. If they aligned with us as people.
Personally, I’m grateful for going through that rough space, as it allowed me to become the person I am today.
GETTING OUT OF A RUT
First things first, resolutions don’t work.
For me, I like to do things a bit differently.
At the start of 2022, I picked a word that I was going to have for the entire year. A word to guide me.
I didn’t realise how much that word would play into my life!
So now, with any action or experience in my life, I go back to that word every time.
Am I in alignment? Does this align with me?
This helps me to dive into my true self. My authentic self.
Allowing me to live more authentically.
I’m also curious, and one of my big passions is astrology. I’m curious about things (which comes from my Gemini side). I like learning about things and people.
Then connection also ties in. Connecting with people lights me up. These all add to the thread that ties it all together.
Words will change as you change and grow.
For you (Mia), a freedom lifestyle is a big thing.
It’s important to just ask yourself;
What lights you up?
Find clues in your Pinterest home page, and your Instagram algorithm. Even your Google search history!
They are the things that make you happy. They are clues to who you are.
One of the best things about coaching is you get to meet people exactly where they are in life, regardless of the stage they’re at. You see the changes they can make, and it’s magical to witness that journey.
SHIFTING YOUR MINDSET
If you don’t believe in yourself, whatever it is you’re aiming for, isn’t going to work.
Mindset is a huge part of living an authentic life.
Trust is a muscle.
If you’re not working out that muscle, you’re not going to have it.
If you look at someone like Lacy Phillips, she has alternative ways to work through limiting beliefs.
She uses manifestation to think about something and it will come to you. The universe wants to see you showing up, not doing the same old, same old.
Shift everything in your life to show the universe that; yes, I do want this and deserve this.
Prove to yourself that magic is possible. This is something that she starts doing as mini manifestations, and I highly recommend her coaching if you haven’t already tried it!
She shows how it is possible for things to happen if you trust that they will.
When you start living in alignment, the universe opens up doors for you.
APPRECIATE THE JOURNEY YOU’RE ON
Switch the narrative of your life.
Take me for example. I worked in retail and was constantly offered promotions. I turned them down, as to me, accepting it meant I’d be the forever.
One day, I switched this. I took the promotion and told myself it was a stepping stone to getting to where I wanted to be. It was more money, and it wasn’t going to be forever.
This allowed me to take more coaching classes and supported the things I actually wanted to do.
As entrepreneurs, we often want to make passive income or create freedom, and we want it now.
Sometimes we get in our own way as we’re obsessed with just getting the results!
Realising that you’re at a different chapter in your life than this person you were before can be just as rewarding.
Appreciate how far you’ve come and the journey you’re on.
LEAN INTO BEING MORE MINDFUL
Jealousy can be a big shadow in the online business world.
It can hold you back, which isn’t going to push you to the next level.
Switch this. Think; ‘this is someone I can learn from. They have something I want. I’m now ready to get it in my own way.’
Lean into being more mindful.
If you’re like me, always in your own head, with things going on and a loud mind, realise you need to sit with these thoughts. Figure them out. Think about what it is you really want to work on.
Gratitude was a big thing for me.
It became part of my routine every morning and night for a year.
My gratitude journal was a place for me to record something every day that I was grateful for.
Sometimes I couldn’t think of anything, so I’d write things like; ‘today I got up and moved,’ or ‘I woke up and spoke to a friend.’
It doesn’t have to be major!
Even struggles made it onto the list, and that’s ok!
Shifting my mindset allowed me to look at things through a different lens.
It made me realise that experiences in my life are not happening to me personally, but are just things that are happening. And then I ask myself, how am I going to work through it?
Think of it like; this is the part in the book where the character has to fight, but in a few chapters, the character will be through it.
Change how you view things that happen to you during the day.
It can feel scary to sit with your thoughts if you don’t like listening to them, but try to sit with them and work through it.
And meditation doesn’t have to be sitting or laying on the floor.
It can be walking outside!
Some of my best realisations come from when I’m outside in nature, walking and thinking. I personally get so much inspiration just from being outside.
Nature is a grounding force.
Put your feet in the grass.
Tune into you.
See what comes up!
If you slow and quieten your mind, that’s when the universe is going to give you hints. We’re usually just too busy to listen!
I recommend the book The Mountain is You for getting over self-sabotage and limiting beliefs, even though it takes a while to get through, it is life-changing.
My coaching really depends on the person and what you’re searching for. For example, we might look at limiting beliefs or finding your life purpose. Or routines and how they can support you in living more authentically.
Or if you’re into a bit of woo, we can look at visualisations and the strengths in your chart.
It’s all about being supportive, and helping you through your journey.
Wow, what an amazing insight from Melissa! If you want to find out more about Melissa and the incredible work she does, you can reach her on Instagram at @realmindsetmaven.
Thank you so much, Melissa!
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