Being a perfectionist is a true struggle.
Because truth be told, there is no such thing as perfect.
Still, so many people have an ongoing daily battle with wanting to be and feel perfect.
If you’ve built your life around wanting to be perfect, you’ll be waiting indefinitely.
Perfectionism is the devil, the mean best friend of productivity, and it wastes so much time.
So, how do you know if you’re a perfectionist?
Well, if you resonate with any of the signs below, it might mean that you have been bitten by the perfectionism bug.
What Is Perfectionism?
The Googles define a perfectionist as follows:
I define a perfectionist as being someone who is constantly under his or her own control and struggling with having a fixed mindset.
Perfectionism is a mindset.
A mindset that is in no way serving you or your dreams.
When you’re showing signs of being a perfectionist, you have super-high ideals for yourself and feel as you’ll never meet them.
Perfectionism is when you avoid the feeling of shame and failure.
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1. You Have The All Or Nothing Mindset
The all-or-nothing or fixed mindset is a regular with perfectionists.
This basically means having opposite thought patterns than those with a growth mindset.
A fixed mindset keeps you stuck, in the same place and you only act on things that are familiar from your past and situations that feel safe to your brain.
There is no forward motion.
A lot of perfectionists seem to think that since they are so into personal development they have a growth mindset, but this isn’t always the case.
Wanting to grow and develop as a person is not the same as taking action despite failing, putting yourself out there to grow and getting results from it.
That is what growth is.
The all-or-nothing mindset speaks to the “either-or” scenario.
The outcome has to either be perfect or there will be no outcome at all.
You are either a success or a failure.
This mindset puts enormous pressure on you and it’s definitely not serving you, dreamer.
2. You Fear Failure
Fearing failure is an undoubted trend for perfectionists.
You fear any sort of negative emotion, really.
Any or all of the above.
You have a fear of putting yourself out there and going out of your comfort zone because you want to avoid the emotion that will cause for you.
Putting yourself out there means you’ll be exposed, naked and vulnerable.
Perfectionists try to escape any signs of failure or situations that might put them in an uncomfortable situation where they won’t be able to be seen as “perfect.”
3. You Might Have Trust Issues
Trusting other people (even the people you love) might be an issue for you if you’re a perfectionist.
This has to do with the fear of letting go of control.
Once things are out of your hands and put into someone else’s, you no longer have control of the “perfect” result.
You have the idea that if something needs to be done perfectly, you have to do it yourself.
Letting go of this need for control and learning to trust other people is crucial for overcoming perfectionism.
It is one of THE signs you’re a perfectionist.
- What can you let go of today?
- How can you practice letting go of self-control?
- How can you warm up to other people and gradually let them into your world?
4. You Should All Over Yourself
Perfectionists spend a lot of their time in “shoulda, woulda, coulda” land.
You waste time thinking about things you should do vs actually taking massive action.
The problem with being a perfectionist is that you know what’s good for you and move the needle when it comes to your dreams and goals, but you don’t execute on it because you fear an imperfect outcome.
Therefore, you stay perfectly put in “shoulda land.” (the keyword being perfect)
5. You Procrastinate
Perfectionism is just another term for procrastination.
They’re twins and they go hand-in-hand (yes, they also wear the same matching outfits).
If you find yourself procrastinating over things that you know will move you forward with your dreams, you might have an ounce or two of perfectionism in you – especially if the result is uncertain.
You procrastinate without end to find the right time to work on your goals.
The secret is out of the bag – there will never be a right time to work on your goals.
Procrastinating is just the Miss Congeniality of perfectionism.
6. You Would Rather Give Up Than Not Do Something Perfectly
When you have the all-or-nothing mindset hat on, you would rather give something up than not do it perfectly.
This way of living kills dreams.
Not only does it kill your dreams, but it also wastes so much time.
You spend hours and hours trying to perfect something that cannot be perfected (because again, perfection isn’t a real thing).
Putting decent work out there is a must to drive you all the way to your dream destination.
There will, of course, be bumps in the road and detours that pop up, but you have to start somewhere and you gotta keep going.
No one starts out being perfect – not even Beyoncé.
You have to be willing to fail, put yourself on the spot and push past giving up on your dreams just because things ain’t perfect at first.
7. You Spot Mistakes Everywhere
If you’re a perfectionist you are also a true genius of spotting mistakes – when it comes to yourself and other people.
Perfectionists are so detail-oriented that you see mistakes where other people don’t and you make it your mission in life to uncover them in all situations.
You smell flaws from miles away.
This is definitely not doing you any good, dreamer.
Most of these presumable mistakes are just imaginary to the perfectionist’s eye.
8. You Fear Judgement
A perfectionist you say?
Then you’ll likely have a fear of judgment from other people.
Not only are you in your head a lot, but you also spend a lot of time thinking about other people and their thoughts and feelings about you.
The truth is that people don’t really think about you as much as you think they do.
They have their own lives to live and problems to deal with.
You being perfect is essentially the last thing on their minds.
You don’t need other people’s approval to live your life, you just need your own.
Before You Go
Struggling with perfectionism is no easy way of living.
Being a perfectionist initially creates more stress in your life and you don’t have to feel this way.
Mastering your mindset when perfectionism has got the best of you is no easy task, but it can be done.
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