It’s human to want to be liked by everyone.
As a recovering people pleaser, I used to care A LOT about what other people thought about me, especially since I started my own blogging business.
It’s in our DNA to want to be part of the pack and accepted by our peers.
We want likes, followers and to be loved by everyone.
After all, we have evolved to survive in groups.
These days, being dependent on acceptance from others isn’t necessary, in fact, it’s quite the opposite.
Being vulnerable to the thoughts other people have about you is normal.
However, not worrying about what other people think can and will set you free.
When you pursue a life where you don’t care about what other people think about you, you’re genuinely living your life and you’ll show up as a 100% you.
This is the life we want, dreamers.
It’s not a quick fix but it is definitely possible to care less.
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Why We Care What Other People Think
Why do we even care?
What is it about other people’s approval that we so desperately desire?
When you really start to think about it, it doesn’t make much sense, other than it’s “normal” and part of being alive and human.
Here are some of the false beliefs that get in our way of living an authentic life:
- Wanting to avoid humiliation
- Fear of being alone
- We believe popularity equal happiness
- We believe social proof equal success
- Fear of failing
- Fear of standing out from the crowd
And you guessed it.
It’s all rooted in fear.
The truth of the matter is, we have no control over what other people think about us.
Because other people’s thoughts are just that – other people’s.
Other People’s Thoughts
Other people’s thoughts and opinions about you have nothing to do with you.
For example: You might remind them of or look like someone they despise. And therefore, they will have negative thoughts about you.
It has nothing to do with you as a person, but everything to do with them.
The opinion someone else has of you has only to do with that person’s thought patterns and past life experiences.
I want you to find peace in the fact that you cannot change other people’s opinions of you.
Let them judge you but don’t make that mean anything about you, because it doesn’t.
Don’t try and change someone’s opinion of you because it will not work.
You won’t ever truly understand why a person thinks a certain way because you won’t be able to get into his or her head.
It’s simply impossible.
People will always judge. That’s what people do.
Let them and go live your life.
Other People’s Actions
The same goes for other people’s behavior – they act based on their own emotions and what their brain is telling them (their thoughts).
People have the freedom to act how they want and think what they want to think.
- You’re starting a new blog.
- Not everyone will resonate, become fans, followers or even like the content that you put out there.
- You cannot please every single person that visits your new dream blog.
- These people are going to have different opinions about your blog based on their own thoughts and past experiences.
Though it’s in our nature to want to be liked by everyone, it’s not possible.
Imagine you’re a chocolate bar, there’s always going to be someone that doesn’t like chocolate.
As shocking as that sounds – it’s true.
We cannot change other people, it’s out of our control.
There’s freedom in knowing that.
A Note On People Pleasing
Growing up, I was a huge people pleaser.
I wanted everyone to like me and approve of my actions.
When I learned how our brains work, I learned the true definition of a people pleaser.
People who aren’t showing up as their authentic and awesome self.
When we pay too much attention to other people’s opinions of us, we lose a part of ourselves and we tell stories that simply aren’t true.
Isn’t that interesting?
Because when you think about it, what is ever the worst that can happen when someone else has thought about you?
In reality, there’s isn’t much you can do to change someone else’s perception of you, therefore the worst that can happen will always be out of your control.
It can really help to name and pinpoint the thing that really scares or worries you.
In the end, it won’t matter – you’re opinion of you is the only opinion that matters.
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Put yourself out there and embrace your own vulnerability.
Dare to take a walk outside your comfort zone.
The more you do it, the easier it will get.
Time is definitely on your side when it comes to training your new mindset and giving up old thought patterns.
You’re so much more than other people’s perception of you.
Find Your People
Surround yourself with people who love and accept you for you – not for someone you’re trying to be.
Don’t waste any more energy on people who don’t, because these people who prevent you from living the life of your dreams aren’t your people.
If you just aim to please everyone, you’ll live out someone else’s dream.
And it won’t ever make a dent or difference in your life.
Make choices based on your own thoughts about you, not someone else’s.
First, find yourself, then find your pack.
Focus On You
Focus on you, your dreams and goals.
Remember that you are you and you’re on your own journey.
Show up as yourself and not as someone who’s trying to please everyone.
If you’re trying to please everyone, you’ll end up pleasing no one.
Don’t be a people pleaser and go into hiding.
Show up as and be your authentic self.
As long as you focus on your own unique story and learn to love yourself, no one else will ever have power over you.
It’s cheesy because it’s true. ????
Before You Go
Remember that the only opinion that matters is the opinion you have of yourself.
People will always judge based on their own thoughts, which essentially is none of your business.
It’s up to you and your mindset if you’re going to let them get to you.
Stay in your lane and focus on your own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Your actions will ultimately lead to your results and this will unfold your story.
You have the power to create your own story the way you want it to be told.
So, why not make it amazing?
Life is so much better without the constant worry about what other people think.
I promise you, it’s so worth the mindset work.
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