Introvert Stuff

How To Be More Confident As An Introvert: My Top Confidence Tips

August 24, 2020


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Feeling confident can sometimes be harder for us introverts than it is for extroverts.

Introverts don’t thrive in public settings with tons of eyeballs looking their way. 

*Show me the way to the nearest couch, a good book, a cup of tea and no other humans please.*

Can you relate?

We don’t scream the loudest.

We don’t crave attention. 

We despise being put on the spot and any type of spontaneousity.

But sometimes we just need to show up – show up for our dreams and goals

Whether that is through online visibility or speaking at an offline event, in order to share your unique message with the world.

This can sometimes be a struggle if you don’t feel comfortable or confident in such a setting. 

Self-doubt and limiting beliefs get in our way and we, in turn, get in our own way, in our dreams way. 

Fear not, dreamer. I’ve got your back. ✨

In this post, I’m sharing my best confidence tips for introverts so you can truly shine in whatever setting you might need it for. 



Related Reads:



Here’s the YouTube video – for my visual learners.



What Is Confidence?

First of all, what is confidence – really?

Well, confidence is not something you’re born with.

It’s not something you have, it’s something you create on purpose.

Confidence is nothing more than an emotion.

You can choose to feel confident at any time, by thinking supportive and positive thoughts. 

Because our thoughts create our feelings.

So the key here is to really believe in yourself and the thoughts you’re thinking so they can create the emotion of confidence for you.

You can look at confidence as a skill that you can practice, over and over again, until you become fluent at it.

At the risk of sounding a bit woo-woo (you know I love the woo-woo), confidence comes from within – from your mind. 

Confidence doesn’t come from external factors, like your job, other people’s opinions of you, your successes, or your environment.

It may sound too simple to be true but if you’re currently not feeling confident, choose better thoughts.

This is why classic confidence tips such as dress up, posture up, and putting on a little eyeliner just doesn’t work. 

Although these generic tips might help, they’re certainly not getting to the root of the problem (your thoughts).

It ain’t no solution just fighting the symptoms.



The Thing About Introverts Though

As introverts, we naturally tune inward and tend to channel the role of our own worst critic. 

We often underestimate our own skills, knowledge, abilities, and awesomeness. 

We overanalyze everything we do (and don’t do) and this can sometimes be detrimental to our confidence.

Is there such a thing as being too self-aware? Mayhaps! 

Questioning your own self-belief is not always the best move forward – especially when it comes to getting your confidence in tip-top shape. 



Okay, Mia, we get it. Now, where are those tips at? 



1. Embrace Your Quietness

You don’t have to scream the loudest to build confidence.

Confidence is not external. 

It’s all internal, baby.

Your quiet nature is what makes you YOU. 

So keep on keeping on with your quiet self. 

The only person you have to prove your confidence to is yourself.



2. Stop Listening To Your Primitive Brain

Our primitive brain (also known as the cerebellum or our habit brain) is the part of our brain that’s trying to keep us alive and stop us from worrying and getting into trouble.

It protects us as it has always done.

When trying to boost your confidence, this is not the way to go though.

Stop listening to your primitive brain. 

We need to teach our minds to think the right thoughts that inspire confidence. 

This can take some time but it’s so super important that you consciously aim to shift your mindset, and the feeling of confidence will follow.

It’s your own thoughts that regulate how confident you feel.

Don’t make the thoughts in your head mean anything negative about you.

You can believe anything you want.

So why not believe you’re the most confident person in the world?

If you’re one of those people who’s never felt like you’ve had an inch of confidence in your life – you’re not doomed.

It’s just your primitive mind feeding you lies (or beliefs) that you’re so used to believing.

For example: You might be thinking you’re in no way confident, you don’t have what it takes and you will never be able to do that thing that you really dream of doing. Awful, right?

However, these are all just sentences in your head that have become habits and beliefs over time.

These beliefs lead you to feel a certain way (i.e. not confident).

In order to change your feelings, you must change your beliefs.



3. Make The Decision

Make the decision to think better thoughts and feel confident on purpose.

If you’re struggling to come up with thoughts that support the feeling of confidence, read my post all about making over your mindset. 

There’s a process to feeling more confident and that process goes as follows:

Thoughts > Feelings > Action > Results

Whatever you think will become your result.

The feeling of confidence will prompt you to take a specific action and from there you’ll get a predicted positive result. 

Confidence sparks forward movement when it comes to your dreams. 

This is the true power of your thoughts and why mindset work is so important when it comes to producing your dream result. 

Become the most decisive introvert on the planet and choose to feel confident on purpose. 

It takes practice but you have to make the decision to start the growth process. 



4. Believe Your Thoughts

The thing is though, you have to believe the new and improved thoughts you have about yourself.

You don’t want to be one of those people with “fake” confidence coming from a place of scarcity.

That’s a whole other story and completely different way of thinking.

If, for example, you are especially good at something, your thoughts about that particular something is positive and you have confidence in yourself doing whatever it is you feel that you master.

Now, apply this to something you’re not good at (yet) or something you’d like to get better at. 

Believe your thoughts to be true – and they will be. 



confidence for introverts

Busy bee? Pin this article for later. 



5. Analyze Your Thoughts

The very first thing you need to do in order to boost your confidence is to become aware of your thoughts and beliefs about yourself.

Write it all down and be honest with yourself. 

Then purposefully decide on a new thought that supports the dream result you want in your life (or a goal you’d like to achieve).

Turn this thought into an affirmation and repeat it daily. 

The first step to complete confidence is getting to know yourself and becoming aware of the thoughts that are currently holding you back from becoming your most awesome and confident self. 

It’s all you, so make sure you get your thoughts straight and know what it is you have to work with.

Things to think about:

  • What is your opinion of yourself?
  • Pay close attention to the thoughts you have about yourself
  • Are they negative or positive or neutral?
  • What thoughts do you want to think?
  • How do you want other people to view you?
  • How do you want to feel?



6. Practice & Repeat

Self-confidence is a skill you can practice and get really good at.

I cannot stress this enough.

If you see yourself as a person lacking in confidence, it may take some time.

But please know that confidence can be trained, built, and mastered, starting in your own mind.

Practice and repeat.

Practice and repeat.

If you do it over and over again, the thing you believe you are lacking confidence in will become effortless and you will feel confident in time.

For me, I need to practice the skill of confidence when it comes to public speaking.

I do this by challenging myself to do it, even though it frightens the heck out of me.

I do it anyway because I know I’ll grow, get better at it, learn from past experiences and that it gets easier every time.

But we have to put ourselves in scary and challenging situations to get better at things we do not have the confidence to master just yet.


I may have repeated myself here, but I just really want you to understand that the most important part of boosting your confidence is mastering your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and practicing the skill of confidence – over time.



When you’ve got your thoughts sorted and you really believe them, it’s time for us to get into some other important factors that can help you build confidence as an introvert. 



7. Self Care For Confidence

Don’t forget to wind down after a long day of socializing.

In order to stay and feel confident we have to care for our introverted souls.

We need our downtime to be able to shine.

Make sure you’re getting enough alone time to re-charge your confidence batteries.

Set aside time for a good book, quiet time, a nap on the couch, a warm bath, or whatever self-care activity you’re the fondest of. 

Self-care goes hand in hand with feeling confident. 

Learn to love on yourself.

Embrace your flaws and make sure you set aside time to practice self-care every day. 

When you really love yourself, you can’t not feel confident.

It’s just not possible.



8. Read Personal Development Books

Immerse yourself in inspiration and motivation.

This is what I do when I’m feeling a little on the low. 

I turn to the wise people with the wise words.

Meaning podcasts, books, audiobooks, YouTube videos, and blog posts. 

Here is a list of my favorite personal development books for introverts.

Expand your mind to new knowledge and inspiration.

Sometimes you just need a good push from a brilliant author letting you know you can do amazing things.



9. Stop Comparing, Stop Caring

Stop comparing yourself to other people – to other people’s wins, success, money, material things, and so on.

We have no idea what’s really going on in other people’s minds.

We can’t control it – as much as we want to – we simply can’t.

Now the cold hard truth is that some people just won’t like you.

There will always be people who don’t like us.

You can be the sweetest piece of chocolate there is, but there will still be people who just don’t like chocolate.

Crazy I know, but it’s true.

You’re not for everybody and that’s okay.

You’ve got your people that are waiting for you to tell your story in the way only you can.

Stop caring what other people think and whatever opinion they may have of you.

This is going to be so freeing and it will really help step up your confidence game.

What matters is what you think of you. 

The only right way to be is to be you.

Just believe in yourself, darling. You do you. ✨



10. Visualize Your Future Self

Tune in with that which you really want to make happen.

Focus on your dream vision and your goals. 

Visualize your future self, you know, your awesome and confident future self that has already achieved all your lovely dreams and goals.

Immerse yourself visually and emotionally in the life of your dreams. Picture it, feel it. Who’s with you? What can you hear? What are you thinking about? Where are you? How do you feel? Vividly visualize yourself having achieved all your lovely dreams and goals. Create a movie in your mind and really connect with the emotions and the thoughts you’re having.

If you find this hard to do or don’t know where to start, my tip for you is to do a simple thought download. 

Get all your feelings and thoughts down onto a piece of paper (without thinking or lifting the pencil).

Getting to know yourself better is the first step in figuring out where you want to go.

As long as you stay focused on the dream, confidence will come much easier.

You get what you focus on so focus on something amazing.



11. Don’t Sweat It

Confident people just don’t sweat the little things in life.

As an introvert, I know this one may be a bit tricky.

Try not to over-analyze every little thing.

For example: An incident at work, the email that didn’t get sent, what she said to you in that mean voice, and so on.

It’s all going to be okay, and in the end, these silly things don’t matter.

Try not to think about them and try to get some perspective.

What is the worst thing that can happen in cases like these? You get a feeling.

A feeling and a belief, which now, you can make mean anything you want.

Because a feeling is just a vibration in your body – that’s all it is. 



12. Goodbye Comfort Zone

There is a difference between fear, courage, and confidence.

However, they are in some ways linked.

Sometimes we need to feel the fear (and do it anyway) and have the courage to do something that we (in the beginning) think is scary – such as public speaking, putting our face on our blogs, or doing an Instagram Live.

We need to challenge ourselves and get out of our comfort zones to be able to get to the good place.

For me, this has definitely been starting a YouTube channel.

Never in a million years did I think I would muster up the courage to get on video and put it out there for the whole world to see. 

But you know what, it’s all part of the process.

I have to practice thinking thoughts that support me in becoming confident on video. 

As humans, we absolutely love to feel comfortable.

Our minds are programmed to protect us and it loves to do what feels safe and familiar.

In other words, the brain loves a good old habit.

But we need to evolve past this to achieve our goals and dreams.

I challenge you to do something you’ve never done before, something you wish you were better at, and I promise it will get easier over time. Jump out of your comfort zone on the daily. 



Before You Go

Exuding confidence is not just a job for extroverts. 

Confidence is needed in order to pursue and successfully chase our dreams. 

We have to believe in ourselves and in our ability to realize those dreams. 

So, start believing, choose better thoughts, and practice feeling confident on purpose.

Repeat this process until you feel the shift happening within you.

It may take some time, but there’s no quick fix to solving old limiting beliefs.

Enjoy the growth process and watch yourself bloom into a beautiful confident sunflower.

(Yes, I just said that, no sarcasm or anything. I really mean it. A sunflower!)

Now, are you ready to think amazing thoughts about yourself?

I sure hope so.

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Hey it's Mia!

I started a secret blog back 2018 because #scaredofwhatotherpeoplethought but since then I have grown it into a bloomin' business, and been able to fully step into the cozy pajama lifestyle (the introvert dream). My jam is now to make ya feel a little less alone in this weird world, to help you find your thing and live your best introvert life  ⎯ the cozy way ⎯ because duh!